In My Book

 In My Book I Am In A Dress...

          It's New Years and I am wearing my New Wedding Dress.  I am engaged to be committed in an affair of Wearing My Dress for A Significant Other in Which I Want to Marry Whole-ly but am Unable to be Fully-Committed to a 1:1 Singled Off Relationship With 1 Man Alone.

      I Love Everyone So Much and I'm Extremely Proud of My Men and I have already married 3-4 of them in a commitment.  Unbelievably, I'm well shared and versed about what I want.  The Commitments Come-to-Surface Again and I'm stuck in the Mental Battle Between Being Labeled by the Significant Other as a Cheater or Full-On Take Care of Everybody, Love Him and Them...Even My Sister's My Whole Life by making this Promise to them.

   I'm So Proud of My Past Lovers that I wouldn't give them up for shit because we are committed to Loving each other throughout Our Lifetime And Maintaining Our Relationship.

So I Gave Them This Promise...

    As Long As I Live I Promise To Love Them And YOU & We Know That WE Love EACH OTHER and WE DO NOT GIVE UP ON This PROMISE. WHEN OUR LOVE IS WEAK WE FIND EACH OTHER.

That We Know NOBODY Comes Between US And OUR LOVE

    So it is December 31st and About to Be New Years ...

In My Mind...

During the Day I'm on the Ocean Coast of Miami and I am getting Married to the Man I Love

I have a Beautiful Setting of Purples and Blues and Pinks and Yellows.

A Trellis Decorated

And A Beautiful Dress, A Vail, Holding My Flowers I Vow To Marry This Man & Many...

Although He thinks I Stop Loving Him...

 I Haven't....

He Doesn't Understand Me

My Wishes For My Life or Have Respect Towards My Wishes

I Stop Talking To Him In Fear of Him Not Understanding This Mess

This Beautiful Mess...

I'm Not Capable In The Way He Thinks

I'm a Mother, A Lover, A Believer, A Sinner

A Singer, A Musician, A Model of P.E.A.C.E.

I'm Healing Everybody and I'm Stressed For Weeks

I'm just Stressed and Fearful of What May Lie Ahead..

When You Entreat Life the Way You Act is The Way You Make Your Bed

You Either Live In Love or Deny It

So My Word is My Word Although being with More Than 1

I Vow My Love Is The SAME

And Although I May Not BE A Broken-Maid

I WILL Be Your Heart-And-Your-Head

For Too Many People 

Have Broken You

So You Heal Me

And I Heal You...

If You Beg Of Me

To Remember the Promise of Our Love

And I the Same

We Have Made Our Bed

And God Blesses Our Prayers

We Help Each Other

We Are Well-Fed

We Can't Forget 

The PROMise

Of Our Head

And OF OUR BED.

And My Heart Dangles From My Ears

The Love Doesn't Change

Remembering the Doves

And You Keep Me Sane

Every 1 of Us 

Must Seek God 1st

But "Oh Bestow the Blessing?"

Or "Oh, Bestow the Curse?"

Life is what We Make It

And We Only Live A Short While

So Don't Curse Yourself With Your Own

Expectations 

Or You're Grief

Because Living To Your Fullest 

Is Going to Be Your

Inner Peace

You Must Learn to Live!

To Not Take Life or People

For Granted

Because We Are Not The Shores of Sand

We Are The Living Stars

And Along the Coast

God Looks Down 

And Sees Us Smiling 

Because We Chose Not To Frown

In ALL A Hundred Years

Could We Ever Capture The Picture Of Perfect?

The Eden Of A Man & Woman

A Perfect World?

The Perfect Love?

It Is What It Is

And We Forgive..

    

Because It's A Sacrifice & Our Happiness Depends On it

Needing to Function I Ask of Him

But He Doesn't Like It and DEMANDS LOYALTY

It Breaks My Heart in 2

Because I have these Close Man Friends & Young Lovers that I Wouldn't Leave For A Single Second...

But I LOVE HIM

Love Him Tooo Deep

And The Curse 

And The Cure

It Too Runs Deep

I Keep Thinking In My Head

How IS THIS POSSIBLE??...

I Look UP TO GOD WITH MY EYES ASKING & THINKING>>>...."WHY ME?"

My Dress Never Comes In

My Significant Other is Influenced by Too Many Other People..

I plan a New Years With 2 Good Friends

New Years Karaoke and Fun Get's Canceled...

My 2 Friends Who Are Past Lovers Aren't Getting Along

But My Dream of Running Around in the Dress on New Years Doesn't Change

I Fall Asleep After Several Christmas Movies Really Happy

But Knowing So Many Souls

Wondering If He Is Even Really Who I Think He Is...?

Love is the Teller

And Time..

The Lasting Epitome

Of the Heart

And All Things

With Fire

So If You Love Me...

Love Me Now

Forget My Woes

Bury A Time-Capsule

With Our Wine

And Find Me Again

 

A Day And Another

Again

To Remind Me 

Of Our Past Love

And the Fire's Ember

Always Hold's True

Love Your Loved Ones While They Are Here

Do Not Take Them For Granted

Try to Esteem Them In Your Heart Forever

If They Are REAL Lovers To YOU.

DO NOT FORGET!!!...

Love's Promise

Of  A Better Tomorrow!!